

Internet Grave
of
Karnstein







This Creature Feature is intended for audiences 18 years or older, due to depictions of SEX, DRUGS, and ROCK & ROLL.
ADULTS ONLY
NC-17



INTERNET SHRINE OF KARNSTEIN
GOD OF MONSTERS

CLICK ANY CANDLE OR SELECT FROM BELOW


INTERNET SHRINE OF KARNSTEIN
GOD OF MONSTERS

CLICK ANY CANDLE OR SELECT FROM BELOW


INTERNET SHRINE OF KARNSTEIN
GOD OF MONSTERS

CLICK ANY CANDLE OR SELECT FROM BELOW

At least take a candy before you leave.

You follow the wolf through the woods to the old water mill...



Hey fellow cool kid, this page is about my stuffed opossum, Turnpike, and her adventures! I myself am an adult, and I'm healing my inner child by going on outings and throwing parties with my opossum. It's good for the soul, good for the spirits. To me, Turnpike is an excuse to throw a party with my friends every August. Turnpike is a reminder of my partner who loves me. Turnpike is a friendly face who cheers me on. I like to take that joy and share it.I made this page for Turnpike by suggestion! Thank you for making Turnpike meaningful to you!

TURNPIKE HARLEY KARNSTEIN
she/it ★ Build a Bear Opossum ★ August 18, 2021

Turnpike is a bab opossum I received from my wife as a surprise.
She very quickly became a comfort to me, and a little celebrity among friends. We like to celebrate her birthday every year and take her on trips.
Turnpike's favorite things are road trips, her little leather jacket and spiked collar, apple juice, kandi, the amusement park, rainbows, and bananas. (She especially likes them frozen and chocolate covered with rainbow sprinkles.)
Turnpike loves going to the park to hunt for mushrooms, and listening to music. She likes classic rock the most, but she won't listen to post 9/11 country music unless it's about a woman killing her husband. This is because Turnpike is an animal of culture. We often joke that Turnpike has a potty mouth, and her favorite word is fuck. The 'Pike is a being made of imagination which is how she is 3 but also knows the nuance of only saying fuck in appropriate situations. This also means Turnpike is allowed into rated R movies, making her the most powerful 3 year old on the planet.
Turnpike is really into witches and magic right now, and is hella pumped for Halloween. We're going to take her to see Kiki's Delivery Service this year!
Traveling setup
Turnpike is precious to me, so when she does travel, I take extra care to ensure she's safe.
Turnpike travels in a clear waterproof backpack, with a collar and leash, and a cloth bandana should I need to cover her up for any reason. The leash is for when I take her out for pictures, and it attaches to her little collar, which has a tag with contact info. I've yet to look into air tags, but before I'll take Turnpike to any large-scale events in the future, an air tag will be added to the setup.
Optionally, I keep little stickers in her bag to hand out to anyone who comments on Turnpike and is generally chill. Right now I have some mushrooms, and recently I was able to print stickers of the Pikester herself! I also like to keep a handful of kandi opossums like the one on my zipper.Lastly, she has little boots to keep her paws dry! Extremely important!








2022

2023

TURNPIKE'S THIRD BDAY ROAD TRIP PLAYLIST

2024






More adventures soon!

May 2, 2020, in an attempt to entertain myself for as cheap as possible, I started my favorite pet project to date:
Eating and rating every decent sounding instant noodle I can get my hands on.

WOLF KARNSTEIN'S
INSTANT NOODLE HOUSE PARTY

I started this project as a twitter thread, but seeing as I don't spend much time on that trashfire anymore, I figured I'd move it here to my own website, since it was a favorite thread of a lot of folks. I'll transcribe the original thread when appropriate, but I'll also be padding out and adding to a lot of "reviews" that I made in the beginning when I was less passionate about the actual reviewing.For reference, I would rate your average pack of top ramen cooked to package instructions at about a 3.5/10.Hope you enjoy!

BEGIN QUEST

My original review for Nissin's Chow Mein read as follows:"first up, this shit. it’s not good but something compels you to finish as much of it as you can. don’t buy it, the spicy version is 10% better."This review is a prime example of how little thought was put into the initial bit. I don't know when this became a way more sincere exploration of instant noodles but now that I'm a seasoned expert I look back on my foolishness and grimace.That being said this ones still kind of shit. The noodles are too soft for my liking, and the sauce is very sweet.Truthfully, I tried Nissin's Teriyaki Chicken Chow Mein for the first time way before 2020, when a friend of mine introduced me to it in... high school? College? Maybe somewhere in between there.


Nissin CHOW MEINMay 2 2020Rating:4/10
"It's kind of nice honestly, you pay like ten extra cents or whatever for a better quality and it's not bad," I remember them saying. They left like a bag of them in my kitchen and no one else wanted them so I pounded like all 3 at midnight at some point. Good times.And then sometime around 2020 I suddenly had some time on my hands. And I was like. Fuck it. I have ten extra cents or whatever also.The instant noodle that led us here today gets like a 4/10.



Nissin Cup Noodles STIR FRY lineMay 2 2020
April 16 2021Rating:4/10
My review for Nissin's Stir Fry line was also initally pretty pathetic. Pretty sure it was just like "these are garbage."I made this update on April 16, 2021:"update: i judged the stir fry cup noodles unfairly. while the teriyaki beef was pretty bad, i recently tried the korean bbq and spicy garlic chicken flavors and they were actually really good for cup noodles and when i see them again i’m buying more"These are not my favorite of Nissin's cup noodles by a long shot, but they're up there. They have mild spice levels and they smell pretty good cooking in the microwave if you're hungry enough. I ate a lot of these in our first apartment in 2021, but I haven't touched them since. While I've tried the rice version of this line, I kind of detest them, and I don't think they should count as an instant noodle anyway. Shit's mostly rice.They get a four from me I think. Which might be generous considering I barely eat these anymore. But they're worth trying! I promise.


Fuck whatever I said about Nissin Cup Noodles Beef Flavor.
My new review of Nissin Cup Noodles Beef Flavor is that they're fucking 69 fucking ¢ at the local fucking gas station and if you have any complaints I have no idea what to tell your stupid entitled ass.


Nissin Cup Noodles (Beef Flavor)May 2 2020Rating:fuck you/10



Nissin HOT & SPICYMay 2 2020Rating:2/10

This is going to be one of my very short reviews, but I really don't like this one. It's all hot with no real flavor, and my opinion on any of these bowls has pretty much remained the same. I tried, but I'm just not a fan. I think when I first started this project, this was one of the first new cup noodles I tried, and I remember being SO desperate to like them,


Nongshim's Shin Original is an instant noodle fan favorite from Korea. These, as far as I am aware, are like some of the most common Korean instant noodles you can find, and they're considered a classic. They come in a variety of forms from cup to bowl to package, and they offer much higher quality dry ingredients and soup base than your average American cup noodle. They're not overly spicy to me personally, but to each their own.I kind of find them a bit basic, their spice levels are nice for what they are, but I feel like there are better noodles out there that I actually crave when I want instant noodles. That being said, I'd choose these over top ramen any day of the week.


Shin OriginalMay 2 2020Rating:5/10




Annie Chun's YakisobaMay 2 2020Rating:5.5/10
I ate these the other day actually.My original tweet read:
"THIS! ONE! SLAPPED!!! i was skeptical at first because the graphic design looks like a white mom made it but the noodles themselves were tangy and good."I still think the packaging design looks like a white suburban mom made it, but the biggest downfall of these noodles is the portions are pathetically small.I took a photo of the contents this time, because I thought it was neat that it wasn't just like a dry noodle.


"this one is actually good and i welcome it into my home. sauce is thick, less of a soup."I can not understate my love for the Nissin Curry Cup Noodle. They sell these in Japan out of these vending machines with hot water dispensers on the side. You can look up videos on youtube and waste hours. Anyway, this is pretty much your Holy Grail of Nissin products, Honestly it's a treasure among cup noodles in general. While I've yet to try the "Original" or "Sea Food" flavors I expect a similar quality.I'm really high right now and I'm pretty sure these are in my pantry right this very moment...This cup noodle has a very mild spice level and an awesomr curry flavor. The broth is super rich and creamy and there are actual chunks of freeze dried potato inside.Please try these if you see these, if you've only ever had Nissin's other cup noodles, this shit will blow your ass clean off your legs.



Nissin Cup noodle curryMay 2 2020Rating:7.5/10




Nissin Raoh SeriesMay 2 2020Rating:8/10
"these two might be my current favorites. they could be easily made out of this world with the addition of some pork or green onion or other ramen ingredients. if you have an itch for ramen, it’s not the real stuff but it’ll scratch it."My most competent review yet! Surprisingly, when I asked my wife for her current opinion on these, she also mentioned them needing the addition of toppings for them to feel really complete. The Tonkatsu ones are the best, in our opinion, but the soy sauce and the miso are also just as flavorful.Flavor tends to be where these shine, these are very intense and pleasently salty, which is why the additon of meats and veggies are what make the ideal bowl of the stuff.


"i did not ever try this one but i never will because i met one once in a public park bathroom (pictured) and i think about that experience every time i see this flavor in the store"I feel no need to further elaborate on my review. Is what I should say.I specifically remember the day I encountered Souper Meal. It was July 4th, 2019, and it was the week I first met with Bailey in person, who had driven down from her home state to visit me. I took her to see the local fireworks in town on the 4th, because Pennsylvania had just legalized The Big Fireworks either just the last or prior year.Walking around down town, playing pokemon go, and trading lovediscs, we were overcome with the urge to piss. Which was about to suck for me and my view of the Souper Meal forever.She sat there, on the sink. Mysterious. Inviting me to investigate while my future wife looked for any non-diseased surface to whiz on or into."Look," I said, snapping a picture of the offending cup. "That's dinner."Bailey said something in disgust upon seeing it. I don't think we ended up feeling safe enough to piss there.



Souper MEalJuly 4th 2019Rating:hell nah/10



Maruchan YakisobaMay 31st 2020Rating:3/10

"i ate this one. it tastes like instant ramen but kinda in a good way. not authentic, obviously, but genuinely decent."They can't all be winners, but in the game of instant food you just have to be not a loser.I doubt I've eaten these since that initial review.

"...i think i fucked up a little making them because i saw afterwards i was supposed to reserve more water. these were hot but unlike the others they did not sacrifice flavor for heat. they were delicious."What to say about Buldak Noodles.These are pretty decently spicy, which is what they're famous for. Type something like "fire noodle challenge" into youtube and you'll get floods of dudes crying over these and their other flavors. I have tried both the Original (later down the list) and these, the Carbonara flavor, and these are by far my favorite of the two. They're milder than the original, but I just happen to like the flavor better since I put cheese on my spicy ramen anyway.That probably sounds nasty to some of you, but it's very popular in Korea, where Samyung noodles are made! Don't knock it till you try it!If you're a Spice Crybaby, and willing to trust me, reserve a little extra water with these and mix in some Kewpie mayo and butter. You can also melt a kraft single in there if you're a freak about cheese. I also put sesame seeds on top? It's awesome.



Maruchan YakisobaMay 31st 2020Rating:8/10



Nissin Demae RamenSeptember 13th 2020Rating:4/10

"in terms of being close to the real deal, this one isn't very ramen-like, but in terms of being a nice noddle soup, it's pretty good! might add some chili oil or scallions but this one gets a solid "not bad!" would buy again!"I did not buy it again. In fact, I think my grocery store may have stopped carrying it. Unfortunately this means I can't give an accurate review update. Perhaps ramen re-reviews are in the near future.



"this is less of an instant ramen thread and more of an instant noodle threadwe bought a couple flavors of this udon, this one in particular REALLY reminds me of wonton soup!! the noodles are nice and chewy and the broth is bomb. wife and i both said 7/10 would buy again.amendment to the previous review: as the broth cooled down, it got this weird artificialy-metallicy taste that was generally unpleasant. it was still edible but not as nice after it sat for a bit.also i tried the beef. both flavors get a 4.5/10 for me, prob won’t buy more."
MYOJO UDONSeptember 23th 2020Rating:4/10



"I WAS REALLY EXCITED FOR THESE AND THEY DID NOT DISAPPOINT!! my wife had to forcibly stop me from eating the uncooked noodles. mama doesn’t really pretend to be real ramen, it’s just like really good instant ramen. mama is what top ramen wishes it was. i should have bought more"I wish I had a bowl of this shit right the fuck now. Mama is one of my favorite instant noodles of all time. Thin yet chewy, pleasantly spicy, with an awesome drinkable broth. I meant what I said about eating the raw noodles. They are per-seasoned in the package in addition to the packet. With what, I don't know, but it's insanely good. I've only had the pork flavor but I wouldn't be surprised if the others were just as good.


MAMA Pork RamenSeptember 23th 2020Rating:9/10



SAPPORO ICHIBAN CHOW MEINSeptember 24th 2020Rating:1/10

"these were not good. i cooked them to package directions and they wound up undercooked. flavor wasn’t great either, really. sweet. hopefully the other sapporo ichiban noodles we bought will be better. i’m writing this tweet to procrastinate eating what i have left in the bowl."I have very little to say about these. I think about these from time to time because surely I fucked up somewhere along the way making them. I don't know. You can't win 'em all.


"this one was okay. it was a step up from top ramen but the flavor was really similar. noodles unfortunately didn’t take long before getting really soft. MAMA is better by miles. brook says it’s much better with an egg but i fucking hate eggs. 6/10"Everyone hypes up these fucking noodles and they're fine but there is a whole world of instant ramen out there and I no longer have the time to waste on a noodle that could bring way more to the table if it tried. Kewpi and an egg is still the way to go for this one I hear. I still hate eggs.


SAPPORO ICHIBAN BEEFSeptember 24th 2020Rating:5/10



INDOMIE MI GORENG FRIED NOODLESSeptember 25th 2020Rating:10/10

"these were really good!! the last two were a letdown but these made up for it. only downside is they’re a kinda small portion but they have like 3 oils and fried onions and a really good flavor packet. 9/10"Listen to me.If you are going to try any of the instant noodles on this list, you have got to make it these. I recommend these to every person I can at every opportunity I get. I buy them in bulk. When my local store stopped carrying them I ordered them online. In fact I'm retroactively bumping these to my first 10/10 on the list. Please eat these. They're pleasantly spicy and savory and they're fucking bomb with extra fried shallots.
Here's a video of an indomie restaurant in Indonesia, where they sell these noodles for like ¢80!


!"this one was super good! pleasantly spicy with a really good flavor! made my nose run a little. i could imagine it tasting really good if you’re sick? i’d say it’s at my third place, brook said it’s her second place! doesn’t actually come with very many mushrooms though. 8.5/10"I actually had the opportunity to make these for my poor baby and her lil head cold a couple weeks ago, and they absolutely do do the trick!


nongshim ansung noodle soupSeptember 29th 2020Rating:8.5/10



MIKE'M MIGHTY GOOD SAVORY BEEF RAMEN SOUPNovember 9th 2020Rating:1/10

"this one feels more like chicken soup than ramen. despite being beef it reminded me more of like a pho maybe? definitely needed soy sauce, very under salted. but overall not bad. noodles were the nicest part!"This review was too nice. If the ramen at the store looks "healthy" or whatever, don't bother. They're trying to gentrify your instant noodles.Would you go to Japan, for example, and buy ramen from a guy named Mike? I don't fucking think so. And you shouldn't do it anywhere else either.


"this review comes mostly from [Laura], but after trying some from her bowl i agree: this tastes like nothing
2/10 because it’s not Bad but only because it’s not Anything. she added chili garlic, pepper, msg, and ect. and said it improved it a lot, but i rate by package alone so :("Yeah, since buying these, I've descovered I'm not the only one unimpressed by the subtle blackbean taste. I've heard this is because mild noodles are just more common overseas, so it could just be my American Mouth, but I'm passing on these.


Champagetti Jjajang NoodlesNovember 24th 2020Rating:2/10



samyang buldak originalSeptember 1st 2021Rating:7/10

"tried more samyang noodles! made them the correct way this time. the lingering heat is worse than the contact heat. flavor was alright, i added fried shallots. i liked the carbo one better tho i think 7/10 my mouth hurts"


"Momofuku noodles! I got them because my wife likes their sauces and they’re pretty high quality. texture wise, superb. They were pleasantly chewy and the correct amount of slimy. However, the flavor was a little too basic, so I wanna try a dif one. A little expensive. Very good!"Okay so apparently these are a hard sell for a lot of people. I will admit to calling them basic in the initial review, but I won't like, I do pick these up when I can, they're basic but almost in a good way. I'll say try these at your own discression, the same with the other momofuku noodles.


momofuku soy & scallionJune 25th 2022Rating:7/10



momofuku tingly chili wavy noodlesJuly 4th 2022Rating:5/10

"More momofuku noodles, this time their tingly chili wavy noodles! (with scallions i added)don’t buy these if you don’t like spicy food. they taste great, but the heat level was pretty surprising? i ended up liking soy and scallion more, but if you like chili these are for you"

FIELD RESEARCH

NOODLE CLUB2025
"More momofuku noodles, this time their tingly chili wavy noodles! (with scallions i added)don’t buy these if you don’t like spicy food. they taste great, but the heat level was pretty surprising? i ended up liking soy and scallion more, but if you like chili these are for you"

This is my little territory on the internet where I get to talk about being an animal. My beast blog if you will.
My theriotypes are Dragon, Wolf, Panther (Black Jaguar), and Corvid. I'm also a questioning opossum.I am a therian, holothere, and werewolf.Occasionally I'll feel like one specific animal more so than the others.
Currently, I'm shaped like a
WOLF



BONES AND HIDE
Ever since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with looking like my animal self. You won't be surprised to know I love fursuits, masks, costumes, kigus, and anything similar. I have always thought costumes were cool, and I'd love to make masks and fursuits one day.Some of these might be themed around my fursona over my theriotypes. Sometimes you have limited funds and can only choose one animal to look like. That's just how it is.






fursona leggings
I made these for use as furry apparel, but the potential for therian application is absolutely there! They were a bit of a challenge to design, and I used Printful to make them. I'm planning on experimenting with their plus sized leggings, but I'm an 18 in women's pants and a 38 in men's and these are their XL all over print leggings. They cost about 30 bucks for a pair.I like to wear them under shorts, ripped jeans, and with long shirts.
I DO plan on taking commissions for these in the future!



Tails
I feel like one of the more universal therian experiences is longing to have a tail. It's another one of those statement pieces that are undeniably animalistic, and also help a lot of people with their species dysphoria. I feel more like myself when wearing one. I think out of all the different types of alterhuman "gear," wearing a tail is definitely my favorite.So with tails, you have a few different options. A typical faux fursuit-style tail, a yarn tail, or even a taxidermy tail, each with their pros and cons. I think they're all good for different reasons. Only thing, I would advise those looking into a real animal tail to find a taxidermist that sources them ethically. I personally own multiple real and fake tails, and I enjoy taxidermy! Just be aware of what you're buying, and avoid places such as amazon or unethical fur farms. Also know that there are some species that CANNOT be ethically sourced, like bats for example. Always research.But back to tails! My favorite tail I own is this yarn wolf tail from StarryFaeStudios, who's linktree you can visit by clicking on the adjacent photo!Out of all three main types of tails, yarn tails are some of my favorite. Because of the way they're constructed, they tend to move and feel a lot like a taxidermy tail, without being as fragile. There's a sort of "spine" inside on which the yarn is attached that gives it a very lifelike feel.


KANDI
Making kandi is already an enriching activity for me as a corvid, but you also get the bonus of being able to make some fun shit to wear. A lot of the kandi I like to make is animal themed, and my favorite batch is a bunch of necklaces and singles based on veterinary labels. One time I accidentally ran errands wearing a choker that said "stud animal" on it.

Kandi started out in the rave community during the 90s, but is now prevalent in all kinds of music and fan scenes. It's now fairly common to find kandi kids at all kinds of events- furry cons included. A lot of the kandi I like to make is for friends, and trading and exchanging kandi is a fun thing to do with other folks who are into it!
Don't know where to start?
I got you covered.



Collars
Collars are classic, I do not care what your species is. I personally love spiked collars, if you couldn't tell. I got my first collar when i was 14 from my very reluctant parents who will regret it forever. It's the one on the very bottom of the wolf's neck this photo, you can see the fake leather is completely destroyed. I wore it proudly all throughout the weekends in high school, I even gifted one to another furry friend at the time. I knew they'd like it but I also hated their mom and knew it would piss her off.When alterhuman friends of ours visit, we often like to keep up that tradition and take them to get a collar, usually from whatever local pet store, especially if they don't already have one. I have always seen them as a casually rebellious statement of my non-humanity, therian or otherwise. And also the tag has my name on it, which kicks ass.



nail polish
To match your theriotype
This is self explanatory. I like black nail polish to match my claws! I used to file them to a point, but if they get too long and you don't shape them right, the tips will curl. This is less of a problem with acrylic nails, which I plan to experiment with in the future. Will update here as I play around, for sure.
This picture of my claws is from when I was in college. What they don't tell you about nail polish is you don't actually have to be any good at it because the paint on your skin will come off in the shower after it dries. That's life hack one. Life hack two is the worse it looks the more punk it is, so basically anyone who says they look like shit is a poser.
Anyway, you get what you pay for with nail polish. Also it's worth getting the clear coat to go on top.
PATCHES
Flat brushes and cheap fabric paint will go a lot farther than you think.
You will need:
scrap fabric
scrap cardboard on the thin side
fabric paint
brush (flat stamp brush is ideal)
x-acto knife
scissors
masking tape
paint markers (optional)
Rough out your patch design on your scrap cardboard. I try not to go too too complex as small details means the stencil will require more pieces. Try to connect all your coverage so the stencil remains in once piece.Cut out the stencil with the x-acto and tape your stencil to your scrap fabric.Keeping the stencil still, use the flat brush to dab in the fabric paint. I like using light colors on black fabric. Let dry, and apply coats as necessary.If you find your paint leaks under the stencil, you can correct with fabric markers, or a black sharpie if using black fabric.Sew on to a jacket or whatever! Be free!


"Gear" and the like aren't what makes someone a theirian, despite what kids do on tiktok these days. But it is admittedly pretty fun. So if you were hoping for my recommendations on where to BUY therian (or furry) gear, this is where you want to be.
SMALL BUISNESS SHOUT OUT CORNER
Not all of this is "therian gear" by design but here's some animal-person style stuff I really like and wanna recommend.
Click on any of these for their sales page!
Product photos belong to their respective owners and were selected based on my personal collection.

SAFETY SYSTEM: SOCIAL ANIMAL STRAPS
by
Howl-Out
Two spirit owned! Queer owned! Furry owned!
I was lucky enough to pick these straps up at ANE 2024, my very first con. I like displaying them next to my desk and throwing one on when I go out somewhere. As someone neuodivergent, a wordless way of communicating your over all social needs can be really helpful! The fact that they're species affirming is a bonus. These were not my first purchase from Howl-Out and def won't be the last! Howl-Out is a Native, two spirit, furry owned business that makes furry street fashion. I love everything they make, genuinely.
Therian Necklace: Stainless Steel
& Wolf Paw V1 (Dragon Red)
by
v-art
werewolvesrule.com
Therian owned! QUEER OWNED! Furry owned!
V is a therian furry apparel maker that I've been following for so long I don't remember how or why I found out about them. I've grabbed a few things from them over the years, they're most known for their full moon club apparel!
I per-ordered their wolf paw shoes for my birthday, and they recently got here. I'm absolutely over the moon about them, I can't wait to wear them around this summer.
Fungi Forest Velvet Jacket
& Salamander Woods Joggers
by
Morningwitch
QUEER OWNED!
Morningwitch is not a therian or furry company, but is a gender-neutral, nature focused indie brand, that goes up to my size (3xl). I have a couple of pieces I've bought from them over the years and I recommend them to everyone I can. They have some really natural, gorgeous designs, that incorporate a lot of my favorite flora and fauna and fungi, and while I wish they'd carry even larger options, it's still nice to find clothing in 3 and 4xl sizes without an upcharge.
Guard Dog chain choker & Doggy Bone clicker by
Altcultures
QUEER OWNED!
Altcultures is a small online shop I discovered through their dog bone nose rings. This shop makes a variety of alternative jewelry, much of which is targeted towards keromimis, which is like a furry for normies and cowards. (Kidding.) Anyway I really like my guard dog chain because it's perfect for telling the guy at the counter that my wife asked for no pickles.
Additionally please check out
the
Furry Clothing Brands Big Doc™️
by @atunacan.bsky.com and @arrowtheproto.bsky.com!
Furry owned!
I know my website demographics, I'm telling most of you what you already know. Furries are the undisputed champions of animal apparel.
This is a link to a google doc covering a wide variety of furry apparel makers, and contains info on each brand.
No idea why I haven't seen this resource shared around much!
Support your independent furry artists!
PREY DRIVE

This section of my website is dedicated to my mate Finch, who's an amazing wife and cook, and puts up with all my cravings.

MRES
Okay. There are going to be a few "hear me outs" on this website and this is one of them.Hear me out: Meals ready to eat.While I'm not a domesticated animal, I can understand the desire for an enrichment team. Maybe I DO deserve a group of loyal humans to evaluate my needs and make sure I'm happy, healthy, and thriving. Someone else can worry about the temperature of my enclosure and what's on the menu.
To sum it up, there is just something inherently nonhuman to me about a meal curated specifically to the nutritional needs of my species by an expert nutritionist.I'll admit, you can't be a very picky eater if you're going to try these, you have to have a bit of an open mind when it comes to flavor. Military food is often very processed, and you won't find anything fresh here as MREs are meant to be stable long-term. They do make great camp food however, as everything needed to prepare the food is provided in the bag.To give you an example, any red-sause pasta MREs will almost always taste like chef boyardee. It's the same thing. If you like canned peaches and spaghettiOs, MREs are great.Me and my mate really like the chicken burrito bowl (menu 16), and if you're really apprehensive about picking a good flavor, there's plenty of MRE taste testing videos on youtube that will show you exactly what's in each MRE. Contents may vary slightly depending on how old your package is, but the reviews are generally reliable.



I actually prefer hot buttered cheerios to popcorn. Even if you're not a species that eats kibble, or even alterhuman at all, hot buttered honey nut cheerios are fucking good. Please do yourself a favor and make these.




Kibble
While some therians eat kibble or whatever, that's not what I'm about. It's not going to kill you, but modern pet food isn't made from the best ingredients. I'm not here to judge how you connect with your theriotype, but if you DO want a better replacement for kibble, might I suggest:
HOT BUTTERED CHEERIOS!
What you're looking for is
HOT BUTTERED CHEERIOS!
I know that phrase might inspire a certain reaction from you. It might even be an "ew!" Well if that sounds gross to you, consider the fact that you're wrong and also that dragons are wise and clever and I know everything. And you were just asking about eating kibble.


Instructions:
1. In a NONSTICK pot or pan, melt a tablespoon of butter. You basically need enough butter to coat all the cheerios. Adjust to taste, you'll be able to eyeball this easy after a few batches. Salted or unsalted, use whatever, follow your heart.2. When completely melted, add one cup HONEY NUT CHEERIOS. Use honey nut the first time. Experiment with other flavors on your own afterwards but right now we're about that honey fucking nut.3. Coat cheerios in butter evenly and continue moving around the pot or pan. If you're fancy and using a pan, you can flip them all cool like. (I know how to do that because my cool mate taught me.)4. Keep 'em moving until they start turning a lovely golden brown and the smell starts making you realize I'm a genius. Hit them with a generous amount of salt. If you want the most control over your salt, use unsalted butter for step 1.5. Throw those bad boys on a paper towel and eat them while they're warm.
GET ROASTED

This is where you become really jealous of me because this next part is less me recommending things or being helpful, and more me showing off how my mate is a really talented cook.Most of my theriotypes are carnivorous, and so am I. I LOVE a good steak, I love a good roast, I love a good stew. If you're a carnivore then you know you really can't beat something that's been slow roasted all day so it melts between your powerful teeth like butter. I'm drooling while I write this.
My therian advice for this section is invest in a slow cooker.
Put some research into your theriotypes and see what kind of food they like. I recently learned gray wolves love blueberries, which has only furthered my obsession with them!
Bailey is currently working on writing down her own recipes! Occasionally, she shares her food on her tumblr, which you can check out by clicking the pot!






"I can't afford all that right now!"Shit me too! Wanna feel like a beast on a budget?
I present to you this fucking tumblr post from 2023. I'm planning on doing a chicken dinner at my next party.



Winner winner, bitch!!!
You can get a decent rotisserie chicken for under 10 bucks in most grocery stores. I use them in a lot of dishes in a pinch, but the price point and accessibility (at least in the US) also makes it a cheap choice for animals with a carnivorous urge. Similar to the shower orange, the perfect rotisserie chicken dinner is a hands-on experience. Put on a nature documentary of your theriotype, dim the lights, eat the chicken with your claws and face.You want to.You need this.




This will be the future home of links to art and writing about my therianthropy. Come back later!













RETURN

These are my creature comforts!
The things that comfort me as a creature!
These places, hobbies, and things enrich my wild side.




CREATURE FEATURES WATCHLIST
My newest pet project is consuming every bit of anthropomorphic animal filmography and then exposing my friends to it no matter how good or bad. I'm considering this part of my habitat


EARS

HABITAT
An animal's environment is the key to its long and happy life. When conditions are good, the wildlife thrives.
These are some changes me and my mate Bailey have made to our enclosure to help us thrive.



Missing the Mossbed google doc? Click on the nest for the updated 2025 version! Thanks for being a cool animal and not spreading it.

THE MOSS BED

The moss bed was my first environmental home decor project, and I'd had the idea kicking around in my head for years before actually buying anything for it. You can find pictures of my bed EVERYWHERE online, especially in places like pintrest and ifunny. It sucks. I try not to think about it.
BUT. I'm still proud of it.One day when I get a house and a workspace, the draping of my moss bed might one day graduate to a moss hammock. A round one to mimic a nest if I could be choosy! I think of all the spaces in my future den I dream about the most it's my studio.







JUNGLE SHOWER
Making the jungle shower actually started out as a joke after the moss bed. I told Bailey that given the opportinity I'd turn all our spaces into the perfect animal habitats and she was like "you think I'M going to stop you?" and I took that shit to heart.
Again, once Bailey and I move out into a house somewhere, this is a project I'd like to expand on. Apartments are too restrictive for a beast. Even in the short term, I think It could be improved with a leaf print splash curtain. I'm posting it here anyway even if I feel it's unfinished.I'm going to talk about smells later on (don't make it weird if you're not gonna make it hot), but as a note about the shower, picking up some woodsy or natural smelling soap is also a good way to turn your shower into enrichment time.Also this is my official endorsement for the shower orange.UPDATE: Got my fucking curtain, babey!!




I was actually kinda particular about which mushrooms were for which program. VLC media player is a chanterelle on purpose, for example, because they have that cone shape. I think i remember one person on tumblr actually noticed and said something in their tags on the post lmao.Soundscapes are also a big part of my online
habitat. I recommend the channel to the right, they have a lot of lovely soundscapes recorded onsite and AI free.Also, if you're an animal crossing fan like me, here's my favorite firefox add-on. It plays the hourly music from any of the games every hour. Not therian-specific, but the soundtrack gives me such a sense of calm and nostalgia. Fuck nintendo tho. Just click on the couch.


DESKTOP

I think every bit of space you have should count as your environment. I know it sounds dumb, but even the way I have my computer set up also makes it work as a kind of comforting space to me.A lot of people bitched on tumblr about me not just dropping the icon files for my mushroom icons publicly, but I never did bc people were unnecessarily rude about the whole thing. HOWEVER, you, animal person, can have them here for free, by clicking on the frog.I also have my computer set to auto-launch the Monterey bay aquarium sea otter cam every feeding session. Highly recommended. I just use the task scheduler in windows.

And while we're talking about therian computing, might as well plug my favorite base, my paw cursor base! I use a version of this base myself and my little toes splay when I hover over something. I'll add that to the base in an update soon! Sorry it's behind a paywall. If you have my socials you can message me for the files and if you're cute I might shoot you them for free.




Boobtube
I've decided to make my pack watch as much furry media with me as possible and help me categorize it. If your movie isn't on here it's mid or I don't care about it enough or we haven't watched it yet. I tend to avoid media aimed explicitly at children, so no "Bluey" or anything.Anyway my word is god. Obviously.
Personal Favorite ✯
Needs prior knowledge 👁
Notably disturbing imagery 🗡

GOOD

Personal favorite movies and shows/shows I think are worth checking out

Movies
Wolfwalkers ✯
Isle of Dogs ✯
Fantastic Mr. Fox ✯
Wolf Children ✯
The Boy and the Beast ✯
Watership Down
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
Chicken Run
Ratatouille
The Cat Returns
Animal Crossing: the Movie 👁

TV
Courage the Cowardly Dog
BoJack Horseman
Tuca & Bertie

Anime
Beastars ✯
Ginga Densetsu Weed
Shirokuma Cafe
BNA (Brand New Animal)
Wolf's Rain

YOUTUBE
Gassy's Gas 'n Stuff ( 1 , 2 )

BAD

TV and movies that are bad or that I'm sick of hearing about

Movies
Alpha and Omega Cinematic Universe
Zootopia
Open Season

UGLY

good yet questionable shit, great for friends!

Movies
Felidae ✯🗡
Barnyard
Surf's Up ✯
Night on the Galactic Railroad



Watchlist
going it alone
Ginga Densetsu Weed
Odd Taxi
stuff I'm subjecting my friends to
G-Force
Night on the Galactic Railroad
Pom Poko

CYBERSPACE
I talk a little about digital spaces on my habitat page, but now it's time to get more in-depth.Some of these things can be experienced alone or optionally with friends. I recommend the presence of open-minded and kind friends when possible.


Garry's Mod

I did not in a million years ever expect gmod to end up on my list of creature comforts, but it's actually the very first thing I wanted to talk about in regards to alterhuman digital spaces.One of my fondest lil shift memories was playing gmod with my friends. I'd been trying out this wolf player model, and everyone was off doing their own thing. I walked up behind my pal Goblin, only to have it turn around and go "Awh! Hello doggy. :)"Sometimes it's the little things that can make you feel the most real, you know? Like you inherently belong, or like you make sense to someone?As a corvid therian, soaring through city maps with the crow morph in the pill add-on has been amazing. You can also perch on friends and vehicles by sitting, if you can aim right. Being perched on a friend's shoulder while they go around doing whatever is a great bird pass time.For the uninformed, Garry's Mod is a popular PC game by Garry, essentially a really famous sandbox game that everyone with a steam account or twitch subscription owns. If Garry had a baby instead of a mod, that kid would be old enough to vote. Everyone and their mother has gmod, and if you don't, the game and it's subsequent requirements (relative) are pretty cheap and go on sale often.This makes it a good party game and hangout space, but the animal person appeal is in the extremely customizable player models. Players can rig their own models and upload them to the steam gmod workshop. While the offerings are way slimmer, there are quite a few animal and fantasy player models up for download, and quite a few of them have custom animations. I spend a lot of my time as a direwolf from ARK.So if you, like me, dream of being a beloved dog at a chill party, you should give gmod a try.I like being helpful, so I made a gmod workshop collection of some animal player models that you can subscribe to. Friends will also need to subscribe as well to properly view your player model. I picked a variety of models, but if you're not impressed with any of my picks, the creators of those models often have more on their own workshop pages. I also added the pill pack that lets you turn into various half life NPCs, (including three kinds of birds), the easy third person camera, Wowozela (it makes animal noises!), and my favorite woodsy map. I'll keep updating with more add-ons as I find them. I'll eventually make a second collection with more of my favorite maps for you to explore, but for now you're on your own.












Here are the raw commands for the territory marking trees! My friends lovingly call them "the piss trees" but to that I say "I know half of you are into piss anyway." I think they're great.Set up your command blocks directly under the trunk of each tree, placing a button on the bottom most log. In a regular command block followed by 3-5 chain command blocks, enter the following:

tellraw @p {"text":"You leave your mark against the tree, to let the other animals know you've been here."}

tag @p add treescent1

tellraw @p ["",{"text":"This tree smells like "},{"selector":"@a[tag=treescent1]"},{"text":"."}]


execute at @p run particle minecraft:falling_honey ~ ~.5 ~ 0 0 0 5 1 normal @p[y=1]


execute at @p run playsound minecraft:block.water.ambient voice @a ~ ~ ~ 2 1

CHANGE THE TAG for each subsequent tree to track them individually. For your first tree, use treescent1, for your second tree use treescent2 and so on.To remove a player's scent from the tree, just remove the tag.


MINECRAFT
I am not explaining Minecraft to you. You've heard of minecraft.Now, I you might be expecting me to talk about player modeling in Minecraft. And that's fair. There are a lot of really cool artists making really cool nonhuman Minecraft player models, and I think that does deserve to be looked into, I just personally haven't done it yet. My fascination with Minecraft as a good alterhuman outlet comes more from how malleable the world itself is. In addition to being able to explore an effectively endless natural space, the command block feature can really add a lot to your spaces when utilized.Minecraft is also a game I play with friends, many of them also nonhuman in some capacity. Using command blocks, I can smell who's been in my den, check who's marked their scent on specific trees, and I can howl to my pals across the server. I learned this in about a month, and everything I've listed is extremely basic as far as commands go. The only drawback might be that these things have to be set up by a willing admin if playing multiplayer. I admin my own server so I'm free to put as many creature comforts as I please, but mileage may vary.I regret not grabbing more screenshots of these commands working. As of writing this, my pals and I are waiting for the dokucraft texture pack and optifine updates so we can play our realm on 1.20.6. 1.21.0+And turn the brightness up if your theriotype has good night vision. It's not cheating, it's your birthright! I also have the subtitles on and so should you! They're directional, specific, and unobtrusive. It's like sniffing with my digital nose!



Vanilla mob morphing commands are by my pal rill!
It's mentioned wanting to put them into a datapack, and when it does so, it's given me permission to link the download here. :3


FLASH GAMES
I miss flash games.
The two things I did in the summer as a child were imagining myself as a dragon, and playing flash games on my parents' computer. This game did something so real and permanent to my brain, I could take the author to court for it.How to Raise a Dragon is a flash game where you the player progress through your life as a dragon, and eventually the journey of the wandering hero who challenges it. Choices you make in your dragon's life affects how it grows and develops. Color, breath weapon, and territory are determined via each level or chapter in your dragon's life, and ultimately decide your dragon's fate at the end of the game. I adore this game, and it's still playable today.Wiki link on the dragon above.






WEBFISHING (linked on the cat) is five bucks on steam and if you don't own it then you need to change that right now.



K is the kiss button.
This is extremely valuable information.




WEBFISHING
OCTOBER 2024

Originally made in 8 days by lamedeveloper (@westthewerst) for an autumn game jam, WEBFISHING was recently reworked/refreshed and released on steam. This game was made for anyone who's ever wished nintendo would add animal avatars to the animal crossing franchise. And then they added beer and ciggarettes. WEBFISHING is a multiplayer online game about fishing with your friends (or alone) as a little animal! Relaxing, charming, and cozy, I picked up this game earlier today and haven't stopped playing since. This is going to end up being my go-to background game for drawing and watching youtube. I'm playing it right now. At the moment, you can only be a cat or a dog, but otherwise there's tons of customization, lot's of which is pride themed, and seeing how everyone's little animal evolves as cosmetics unlock has been really neat. There's also no shortage of catchable creatures, nearly 100, all of which have adorable art. I would recommend WEBFISHING to literally anyone, especially groups of therian or furry friends looking for a digital space to hang out.
Definitely sit down with a bowl and a beer and some pals and have a chill Friday fishing and watching videos or listening to music together.Use the G key to meow or bark, Ctrl + G to hiss or growl, and Alt + G to purr or whine.Type /wag in chat to wag your tail, btw!!

UPDATE
MAY 2025
I 100%ed WEBFISHING!





STARDEW VALLEY
FURRY MODS
NOVEMBER 2024
This very barely counts as a therian game because it's actually a furry mod. For Stardew Valley.
I can't say anything about Stardew Valley that hasn't been better said by someone else. It's a fantastic, whimsical, cozy game about inheriting a farm in a small town. Your grandpa kicks the bucket on the world's shittiest bed. There's a wizard. You can be gay. It's one of my favorite games of all time.
Now I can be a wolf while I forage virtual vegetables.
We use nexus mods. Pictured here is Furry Farmer and Anthro Characters Continued to turn us and everyone else furry. We also use SH's Trash Cats for Turnpike!


Stardew lets me and my mate live out fantasies unimagineable. Like vegetables that don't go bad.

Stardew also has a kiss button that lets you smooch other players but you have to get hitched first.



Wolf Quest
NOVEMBER 2024

wip



SMELLS
This is where we talk about smells."A whole page dedicated to smells?" you ask.Yes.
I feel like smell and memory are very linked to one another. The brain smells in color, if that makes sense. Basically, you can use your nose to connect with your theriotype through your environment.
The obvious use of smell in animal expression is creating a scent marker, especially if you have theriotypes that are territorial. I'm starting with mentioning this one upfront because I have to get this out of the way:THERE'S NO PISS!!! IF YOU CAME HERE FOR PISS YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE DISAPPOINTED!!! NO PISS! PISSLESS! PISSN'T!Anyway.


GROOMING
We're going to start with our own stink so here goes: get yourself a smell, and make it a good smell.Animals in the wild get a lot of information about the world and the other critters they share their habitat with via smell. Each animal has a unique smell that other animals use to identify them. I want to be clear here, I'm not saying you should avoid showering until you stink in your own special way or whatever. I'm saying picking your own particular scent of perfume or fragrance oil that could be "yours" for example, might help an alterhuman feel more connected with their animal side. Having a scent you feel you can be recognized by is especially helpful for creatures who have connections to territorial animals. Most commonly, if you like when your partner smells like you or vice versa, that may be the indicator that this could work well for you.I'm sure there's a lot of room when working with things like perfumes and colognes, but my broke ass likes fragrance oil. Personally, I use a mix of pine and dragon's blood fragrance oils, and I add additional oils depending on my mood. These are the two I like the most, but I've also found I like sandalwood and other woodsy smells. I run a tiny amount of these through my wet hair right after I shower, and wrap it up in a towel. Previously, I also had this goatsmilk conditioner that I ADORED the smell of, and I've been looking for a dupe for it for years.



Making a scent marker...
So when it comes to therians making scent markers, I have seen a variety of ingredients used, some of which, like perfume, fragrance oil, ect, are NOT the kind of things you should be spraying in a natural environment. I personally have yet to make or use a scent marker. As of writing, I live in an apartment. I don't have a territorial space where I feel it would be appropriate to scent mark. If you ARE one of the animals lucky enough to have some area of your own, make sure you're using natural ingredients that won't harm the ecosystem. You are still in a human body, and have a responsibility to the earth, being alterhuman does not absolve you of harm.
Typically, scent markers start with a base of water that's been run through the hair. This is where it should end. Be sure no soap or unnatural oils make their way into your marker. If adding additional ingredients, stick to natural products only, as far removed from oils and chemicals as possible. Tea, spices, cinnamon, anything from the earth is fair game, but stay way from things like potpourri or essential oil.





Habitat
In addition to using fragrance oils in my hair, I also like to burn it in oil burners, or in a spare pot on the stove in combination with other aromatics. Incense is amazing too, and is great for draconic therians!Be aware, incense will typically smell milder than burning pure fragrance oil. I’ve personally discovered that if a scent is sweeter, I’ll prefer the incense version.An incense or oil burner can be found in a lot of trinket shops or smoke shops, and will make a room smell great. Your mileage may vary, but for alterhuman purposes I like to stick to warmer or more natural flavors of fragrance. To me, it’s important to choose scents that are earthy, remind me of nature, and if i can help it, get me more into my animal headspace. This usually involves invoking smells that would be commonplace in my animal’s habitat, or that match what I feel fits the “vibe” of my theriotype.Candles are always another option. If you wanna, you can splurge for a wood wick candle that makes a cracking sound like a campfire.


STOVETOP FOREST SMELL
Fill a pot up with water, at least a quarter full. Use a pot you wouldn't normally use for cooking, as mixing fragrance oils and food would be ill-advised. I use a cheap nonstick that corroded away at the bottom and can no longer be used for food. Add your oil, a few drops to half a teaspoon depending on how strong you'd like it, and add aromatics.For a forest, I use pine oil combined with a little liquid smoke, cinnamon, and wild botanicals.* I also like to throw in orange or lemon peels if I have them leftover from snacking or cooking.

*As in acorns and other tree droppings, for example. Do not remove living plants or parts of living plants.

Karnstein's Kandi Kid Crash Course




I got into Kandi back in 2020 at the start of the pandemic because I wanted something to do with my hands aside from digital art. And because I really wanted to made a bead lizard. It was something I missed out on as a kid, and wanted to try just because, y'know? Like dunkaroos. Which bark severely.

When I started I kinda just hit the ground running and didn't actually know what I was doing. Here's everything I've learned since then, so you don't make my same mistakes. Because apparently there are things you want to know before playing beads. You're in the big leagues now, boss.



What Is Kandi? What counts as kandi?
I've come to learn that the term "kandi" is kind of broad when it comes to what "counts" as kandi. You're heavily encouraged to DIY your materials when it comes to the beads and charms, but it's heavily recommended that you use 1-1.5mm cloth covered elastic stretch cord when making kandi. The plastic stuff? It will dry rot and your knots will come undone and it's an absolute nightmare. When making charms, or otherwise in need of a non stretchy string, try fishing line. But generally that 1mm cloth stretch cord is where it's at. People will also recommend using clear nail polish or burning the ends, but I usually pass on that and I've never had a problem.
Typically, most kandi is made from 9mm plastic pony beads, cloth covered stretch cord, and whatever else you wanna throw on there. Usually more plastic beads, often with letter beads denoting or referencing the concept the kandi might be based on. (Or not I guess because there are no rules, people will make that shit say anything, you'll start to get it.)

So where Do I find materials?
For basic supplies I recommend 9mm pony beads, letter beads, anything else you wanna string on there, and by gods, if you wanna do more complicated stitches, a small plastic yarn needle will save your fucking hands.I see a lot of kandi kids online using Amazon or Temu but that sucks so here's some links to better places.



9mm pony beads and other basic plastic beads:Beadtin.comThe BeaderyEbay or other online thrift sites
add terms like "bulk" to search.

super cool Focal Beads made by small businesses:Basshead Beads
Check IG for sales!
(Code: moodkandi for 15% off)Jelli Bead
Check IG for sales!
(code: hailstorm15 for 15% off)MinistryOfPeachKookyKandiBeads

chewable silicone beads:My Pretty Posh princess

Cloth covered elastic stretch cord:Beadtin.com

I got my 7mm plastic yarn needles in a physical Michael's and I'm sorry to say I have no idea where to get them that isn't a physical craft store or Amazon. Here they are on Michaels' website.

Quick tips!
Make sure you tie your knots well! I usually use a triple granny knot or a surgeon's knot, and you can get extra security by gluing the ends!Hide your knots in you 9mm pony beads, or other beads with a large hole for a seamless look.A good size bracelet or cuff is around the ballpark of 30 beads, give or take. If you'd like to be exact, four 9mm pony beads are about an inch long, so multiplying your desired circumference in inches by four will give you a more exact number.Any reasonably sized plastic trinket AT ALL, can be used for kandi. As long as you have a thick metal needle >2mm and a lighter, you can melt a hole in any small plastic object. I love doing this with plastic drgons to make them have gay sex on the kandi.



What do I start with?
Singles are the most basic form of kandi, but if you want something slightly more complex, I recommend learning how to make an X base cuff. A lot of the more complicated cuffs are just a lot of X bases stacked on top of each other, so it's a great basic cuff to learn, and it's super beginner friendly!My wild blackberry cuff, for example, is a basic 3D 1X base cuff.I basically started learning by searching youtube tutorials and looking up patterns online, there's so much stuff out there. (And if you're in the Caverns and ever wanna brainstorm kandi ideas, hmu!!)I personally started with bead lizard and a single that said "fucker."

My favorite Tutorial MakersTurbo BeadsMood kandiKandi ToyboxGinger Cand-E

HELPFUL RESOURCESKandi patternsPattern MakerKandi SubredditHow to 3d print your own beads





Anything else I should know?
Yes! It's worth learning about PLUR!! PLUR, standing for peace, love, unity, and respect is the ravers' manifesto, and if you wanna trade kandi with other kandi kids at a rave or event, they might expect you to know the PLUR handshake. Moodkandi has a great little video on the history of PLUR, and here's an example of the PLUR handshake. You can probably find a lot more in depth videos on the topic, and if I find any I like I'll link them here in the future.

That's it have fun.

ENRICHMENT
As a therian, it's important to remember to be part of your own enrichment team. I'm not big on meditation, so when I want to connect with a therioype, I find it helps to try activities that stimulate your animal side.
A lot of therians nowadays combat their longing with vocals or quads or that sort of thing, but as an adult therian, quads are not for me, and as a therian who's never truly in a totally human mind space, I like doing day to day things or have hobbies that help speak to my animal identity.






Nature Photography
Since I was young, I've loved taking photos. I get a kick out of taking mushroom and animal pics in particular. If you're in an area or life situation where you'd like to satisfy the urge to hunt but can't, shoot photos! Getting the perfect shot, especially when taking pictures of animals and insects, takes a lot of the same skills one would practice for sneaking up on prey. I feel like it also forces you to really stop and look and listen and really take time to appreciate your natural surroundings. It's a really easy and accessible way to connect with Mother Earth.



Foraging and Mushroom Spotting
If you're looking for more physical ways to connect with your theriotype, and you'd like to learn a potentially valuable skill, AND you like free shit, I present: wild food.Now before we go further with this one, you should know that it's VERY important to NEVER eat wild food without a positive ID on what it is. In the world of foraging, there can be many dangerous look-alikes of perfectly edible plants or mushrooms. NEVER eat a plant or mushroom if you're not 100% certain on its identity.As scary as the necessary warnings are, as long as you take the time to learn, foraging can be a great time and a delicious meal.Let's start with something super basic: field garlic! Or Allium vineale, to be specific, because you have to be.
A short video resource on field garlic!
Field Garlic is a very easy beginner plant to forage. Its unmistakable oniony smell and hollow leaves make it very recognizable. It's invasive on the entire east coast of the US, so if you you live in those areas, you can harvest as much of it as you'd like without worrying about the ecosystem.When foraging in more public places, stay clear of anywhere dogs might frequently piss or anywhere chemicals might have been sprayed.



Trinket Hunting
If you're a scavenger, or perhaps a hunter or even collector, you might like going to the flea market or visiting junk shops if you can find any nearby. I live in a place with many antique stores, and digging through the trinkets to find something special can really mimic the feeling of scavenging or hunting. While you do have to pay for your finds, it entirely depends on your own budget and can be done cheaply. Thrift stores are also an option, with shelves and shelves of shiny things. Plus adding them to a horde of treasures enriches both my dragon and corvid theriotypes!

A more natural approach for those of you near the sea or forest might be bone/shed hunting, or looking for sharks' teeth. Hag stones, a stone with a hole through it, are also fun to look for, and are considered lucky! When I was younger I used to hunt for shark teeth by the sea, and to this day I have a small collection of teeth found entirely on my own that I adore and love to show off. You can also wire wrap your finds and make them into gear.




Credit: Foraging & Feasting: A Field Guide and Wild Food Cookbook by Dina Falconi, illustrated by Wendy Hollender


Fishing
A lot of therians will supposedly meditate to connect with their theriotype, but traditional meditation is a bit hard for me. I like to do things with my hands, and I like to be in nature, fishing is the closest I get.You can get your fishing license and pole at basically any Dick's Sporting Goods. If you get tags for fish, you can eat your catches!






KANDI

If you are a corvid and have any interest in collecting trinkets or pretty things, as you should, I'm imploring you to start making and trading kandi. Kandi is big in the rave and festival going circles, but it's also favored with furries and in online spaces in general. You don't need to be apart of any one community to make kandi, and you're not even technically restricted to just one type of material. Kandi is TYPICALLY understood to be made with 9mm plastic beads, which are great and fairly cheap, but any beads will allegedly count, or so I've been told. Ravers and kandi kids have this concept, PLUR, standing for peace, love, unity, and respect. To me it sounds a little cheesy, but I can appreciate a culture-wide stance on being a decent person. When trading kandi there's a whole PLUR handshake, it's kind of adorable.I also make a lot of therian and animal themed kandi, which is nice to wear around as something casual and species-affirming. I did a bunch based off veterinary labels which were really fun.I often like to make kandi for my friends.

Don't know where to start?
I got you covered.























Hey there, traveler.
To critters and creatures of this lifetime, I'm the beast known as
Blue Carmilla Von Karnstein
but Blue, Carmilla, or Wolf will do! You can find me all throughout cyberspace, the depths of your nightmares, under the bed, in the #me tag of animals everywhere, and on the east coast of the US. I commit acts of art because I am but a vessel for the muse.I make all the art of both myself and my partner's characters.






I'm a BEAST!
Right now, I'm primarily
WOLF
SHAPED
and my preferred name of the three is
WOLF

It/Itself
She/Herself
Wyrm/Wyrmself
They're case sensitive.

My fursonas and I identify closest to "genderqueer" at the moment! Feminine terms and most masculine terms are alright, but remember that I am an animal rather than a human!
You're probably here because of my furry art! My main fursona is a 7ft tall tattooed punky vampire dragon, but I have many ocs and altsonas of different theriotypes and animals I love! I have a passion for self expression, but right now I'm focusing on rebuilding my connection to my art and reflecting on the things that are important for me to convey. In the meantime, I also enjoy working as an illustrator by commission.

Animals and nature both play a heavy role in my personal spirituality, and while I don't align myself with any preexisting religious ideas, I am a therian and a witch, and my wild animal soul takes many forms. I'm usually a dragon but I'm also a wolf, panther, raven, and gargoyle.
My mate for life is my wifey Laura Bailey Karnstein and I bite her ears every day. You might also see me call her Finch!Finch and I are very pro be-gay-with-your-loved-ones. We flirt with our friends, and have special bonds outside of each other, but we are primary partners and wives first and foremost. You can drool, but if you say something to me that upsets my wife, you will be blocked. I put her comfort first!

My other interests include werewolves, vampires, monsters, dragons, mushrooms, cryptids, graffiti, urban magic, horror, punk music, weird vending machines, and furry and therian culture.








COMMISSIONS OPEN BY ANNOUNCEMENT ON MY SOCIAL MEDIA





or you can always send a Ko-fi or two my way by clicking on the buck!
Note:
I don't offer clean lineart, as I feel a lot of the flow in my art style comes from the organic shapes in the sketch, and refining instead of relining creates a more visually appealing product. I currently do not offer reference sheets outside of close friends or custom designs.(PROPS, BACKGROUND, AND SHADING NOT INCLUDED IN THE PRICE)



REFINED HEADSHOT SKETCHES
JUST THE LINES - $35
MONOCHROME - $45
COLOR - $50




REFINED HALFBODY SKETCHES
JUST THE LINES - 55$
MONOCHROME - 75$
COLORED - 95$


REFINED FULLBODY SKETCHES
JUST THE LINES - 85$
MONOCHROME - 100$
COLOR - 140$



JUNK DRAWERNeed something more specific? A draw over? A doodle? A PNGtuber? If there's a piece I've made and you'd like something similar, you can message me and we'll work out a price. DISCLAIMER: I MAY turn you down for whatever reason. Some things I'm only willing to make for friends!
Base price for PNGtubers is 200$!
EXTRASSHADING - +40% of totalYOUR NON-DRAGON CHARACTER DRAGOFIED - +$50EXTRA CHARACTER - +95% of the base price.PROPS - Ask!BACKGROUNDS - CLOSED for now.COMPLEX DESIGNS - Open for discussion! Pricing will vary.I DO NOT CHARGE EXTRA FOR MOBILITY AIDS



TERMS OF SERVICE

I WILL NOT SELL TO NAZIFURS, ALTFURS, TERFS, COPS, OR CRYPTOBROS.
MY ART IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE USED FOR AI TRAINING OF ANY KIND.
I WILL NOT SELL TO ANYONE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE.
IMPORTANT:
I may take artistic liberties with your design. This means correcting anatomy such as faceshape, wings, ect to better represent the animal in question, and fit my style of art. IF you prefer I stay more on-model to your reference sheet, I totally can, just please state this upfront!


NSFW (Unless otherwise specified.)
Non-consensual NSFW
Heavy gore
My Little Pony
Pokemon (Sorry!)
HUMANS, including humaniod species. (Homestuck trolls as an example.)
Babyfurs/Small children
Characters belonging to commercial properties.
Blatantly offensive themes such as: homophobia, racism, sexism, anything relating to Nazis, transphobia, hate speech, ect.
Any designs or items that may insensitively appropriate the culture of any group that the commissioner in question does not belong to.
Any props or themes regarding the military or police
Complex mechanical design.

Anthropomorphic animals
Feral animals
MONSTERS
Blood
Tasteful toplessness of any gender. FREE THE NIPS.
EXPLICITLY Trans bodies (girlbulge, boytitty, what have you)

By commissioning me, you are agreeing to my terms of service. Please read them thoroughly, and reach out beforehand if you have any questions or concerns. Failure to abide by my terms of service will result in you being blacklisted from being able to obtain any future commissions or requests.To secure a place in my queue, you must pay upon your order being confirmed. I will not hold your slot for more than a day unless we've discussed otherwise.I currently do not accept jump fees, but if you have a deadline, mention it to me! I do recommend ordering a commission at least a month in advance to meet a deadline, just in case.All prices are in USD, and non negotiable.I have the right to turn down or refuse a commission for any reason.Any and all major changes made after approving the wip sketch will incur a fee.
Major changes made by the commissioner themselves or third party after the commission has been finalized should get permission from me before doing so.
All references must be provided upfront. Additions made to the piece that were previously unstated may incur a fee.Commissions may only be re-posted with credit.
Commissions may NOT be traced as is with all of my other art.Commissions may be used by the receiving/paying party; no one else. This can be for profile pictures, posts, website graphics, ect, but may NOT be used commercially. You can NOT use my works for branding or any other commercial use, unless you have purchased the image rights from me.
In other words, commissions are for personal use only and may not used to create additional prints or merch outside of personal ownership.MY WORK MAY NOT BE USED TO CREATE, PROMOTE, DISTRIBUTE, SUPPORT, OR ADVERTIZE NFTS, OR BE OTHERWISE USED IN CONJUCTION WITH NFTS, CRYPTO, OR AI ART. MY ART MAY NOT BE USED IN TANDEM WITH ANY AI IMAGE GENERATION TOOLS. MY ART MAY NOT BE USED TO TRAIN AI, WHATSOEVER.I only take visual references EXCEPT when creating custom characters from scratch.References will only have as much information on them as you choose to give me. Artistic liberties will NOT be taken on reference sheet commissions, UNLESS REQUESTED.PRICE MAY GO UP DEPENDING ON HOW COMPLEX YOUR CHARACTER IS.Full refunds are only available if I have not started your piece. Partial refunds are available during the sketching phase. No refunds will be considered after completion.You may not claim my work as your own.
Can I draw giftart of one of your characters?Not only can you draw them, but I will give you my eternal gratitude and probably cry about it a little.✯Are you Laura/Finch/Bailey/jackalopescruff on tumblr?That's my wife! We are two physically separate entities (not headmates or characters or anything of the sort) living together under the same roof! Two different animal people. This is news to a lot of folks it turns out!✯
I think you/your partner blocked me, what did I do?I don't know. We block liberally. Sorry!✯When do your commissions open?Commissions will USUALLY open monthly or bimonthly, by announcement.✯Why don't you want people QRTing your art on bluesky?Basically, quote reposting a post treats the post as an entirely new post. I don't get notifications for someone's qrp even if I'm being quoted. This means I can't keep track of things like hate speech, misgendering, or rude replies in general. You can imagine why this is a concern, as I do a lot of commission work for trans and queer individuals. This generally also applies to regular art, but for a different reason, which is that direct engagement helps me grow! (Commissioners are, however, allowed to repost their commissions later, for personal use/memes/ect!)✯You didn’t answer my ask?Sometimes I answer out of order. If you sent a nice ask sometimes I keep it for a while just to look at it. I don’t know why I do this I’m weird.